Everton: Howard, Baines, Gosling, Hibbert, Distin, Osman, Fellaini, Cahill, Bilyaletdinov, Jo, Yakubu

Bench: Nash, Baxter (Bilyaletdinov), Wallace, Mustafi, Agard (Yakubu), Akpan, Duffy

Referee: Pavel Bilge

If you know nothing about Everton and you are reading this, then listen up. EVERTON ARE VERY FUCKIN’ SPECIAL! Now you might think that your team are special too, and they probably are. What we mean is, that we have a very special relationship with our team, it’s hard to describe, sometimes we feel let down – yet we still love them. Sometimes we feel fuckin’ elated and it’s a feeling that goes beyond fuckin’ elation? Hard to understand? Hard to believe? Become a Toffeeman, WE understand!

Today, we travelled to the back of beyond. Someone said on the BK Forum that they we leaving at 9am yesterday going over land for 24 hours to see the Toffee’s, well played. This was a fixture where it was made impossible to get to, it cost enough up front without the Kharkiv corruption which is to follow.

Now Lavo’s Best Bet (talking of corruption, King Louis turns into Billy) may have suffered from the lateness that Captain Joey was not fit. Lavo had Tiny to score first but Moysey was looking like a Casualty extra as he named the side. It was a case of, I’ll name the team and if you are in your usual position hold your hand up. Only player to hold his hand up was Jo, he was lying on the dressing room floor!

It killed Moyesy to pick 4-4-2 but he had no choice. Yak & Jo (King) up front, Hibbo at Centre-Half, Labby eat your heart out, Goose at right back and Tiny on the right wing. It was all hands to the pump. But hey, remember what was said earlier, we are EVERTON, you need to understand, if you don’t understand – please ask!

We kicked off and to be honest, it looked comfortable. It looked more than comfortable, Moyesy dismissed AEK as the grubbers, hope he’s right, but today we played a team who did Champs League last season and held Juventus twice plus Zenit, so what would the night hold?

Let’s make no mistake, two facts – Everton were down to the bare bones & if we had a full side out then we would have twatted this team all around the fuckin’ ground. As it was we gave them as start!

The first half to be honest was more than comfortable, yet we went in one down. We bossed it, went close a couple of times early on and without creating any clear cut chances, we were on top. Their goal was a stonker, a fuckin’ stonker! Pick your best belt and compare it to this, sometimes you twat one and it goes into the top corner (most times it was in class with a ruler & pencil) this was one of those. No chance, accept it, heads up & get on with the job. The Boriski’s thought they’d won.The National Stadium, where they had never won, despite turning there for profit every opportunity, looked empty as someone celebrated, the Toffeemen dug in. We had a go but the luminous ref blew for half time.

HT 1-0

By now it was pissing down, Moyesy did not have a brolly but had a serious glare, you know the one. You go in the bog and say something out of courtesy like, ‘all the big knobs hang out in here?’ and the bloke next to you looks at you like Vinnie Jones! Moyesy had the Vinnie Jones look.
The second half looked like the pub team trying to stop the Toffeemen, BATE, I’ve refrained so far, are poor. Surely we could master bate? Could we pull it off? The answer was under the sheets, it was pouring down.

Screech’s quiff, which has now exceeded that of the Sausage at his best, is becoming beyond a joke and he has been getting increased criticism, however, maybe we need the rain? It pissed down, the quiff flattened, Bainesy whipped one in and we equalised. Singin’ in the rain............

We thought that they were a pub team and that the first was a dream goal, it certainly was. Once we went level then there was only going to be one winner.
As you would expect, they went forward at every opportunity but every Everton player dug in and that’s what it’s all about, us fighting together, the boys travelling 1500 miles shouted and will them on, just as much as every Toffee who could not pay the price of the extortionate visa . We did it.
Timmy had had an opportunity early on and must have known that the redshite would be hovering with glee. This time it was Billy who set it up and the Blue Kangaroo scored with ease despite having to do his duty out on the right all night.

So very satisfactory, thank you very much. BENFICA here we come (Nurenburg revisited), top of the group and continuing the NEARLY every English team to win this week!
Blue Kipper Star Man is BASIL RATHBONE, all the team were outstanding but one man got them on to the pitch for the win.

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Andy's Rankin

Marks Out Of 10
Player	Marks	Player	Marks
Howard	8
Baines	7
Gosling	7
Hibbert	8
Distin	8
Osman	7
Fellaini	8
Cahill	7
Bilyaletdinov	7
Jo	6
Yakubu	6

Ivor Itchyknob Reports From The Dinamo Stadium

Today's Blue Kipper Star Man

Star Man

Stats

Goals

Bad Boys

Prem Table

Europa Table

 

 

Jo Battles For The Ball

A Drenched Screech Celebrates

Jesus, another match another win for the Blues and Fat Bastard. Up to £127 and we are not stopping there. The Blues go into the unknown in Minsk, but the bookies have Everton as the bang on favourites. Can the Blues Master Bate that is the question, and Betfair think so, having our lads odds on at 4/6. FC Bate are 5/1 to work us over and the draw is 3/1.

Bate are not playing at home but at the National Stadium in Minsk, and their record there is shite. In five attempts they have not won, and they come down to 2/1 to beat the Blues with a one goal head start. Over and under 2.5 goals both come in at even money, and for Tim Howard to keep a fifth clean sheet you can get 5/4.

First goal scorers are as follow; Tiny 5/1, Jo 9/2, The Yak 5/1 and Billy is 12/1.

Lavo's Bet: £10 Tiny First Goal 5/1

For all Markets, click on the links: All Betfair Markets and Free £10 Bet

Season Total: £127

Shit Four out of Four

Bate are currently walking the Belarussian League, ten points ahead of Dinamo Minsk with only a few games to play. In Europe though, they are not so hot. They went out of The Champions League at the hands of FK Ventspils this season, and in their Europa Cup opener they lost to Benfica 2-0 in Lisbon. They are however the first Belarussian side to qualify for the Champions League when they made the Group Stages last season, along with Real Madrid, Juve and our old foes Zenit. Over the two matches they lost 2-0 at home to Zenit and gained an admirable draw 1-1 in St. Petersburg.

Bate From: S.Veremko, Yurevich, V.Rzhevsky, S.Sosnovsky, M.Bordachev, P.Nekhaichyk, D.Likhtarovich, A.Valadzko, ?.Pavlov, S.Krivets, Skavysh, Goaryan, V.Rodionov, Alumona

This Awaits The Blues